Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Meant For Each Other

My friend is very frustrated with her bluetooth. And her phone. They just won't sync. She brings them together, the phone searches for its trusted device...and although it's right there, they can't find each other. Or won't.

She doesn't give up. She puts them nose to nose, trying to get them to recognize their match.

It doesn't work.

You can't force love.

I don't have that problem with my bluetooth. I don't use it a lot. Most of the time, it's buried deep inside my pocketbook, with the power off. And I carry my phone in my hand. They need to be separated. Because as soon as Bluetooth sees Phone, it springs to life.

I do what I can to sever the relationship. I go into my phone settings, find bluetooth settings, and make sure that's turned off. I double check the power on Bluetooth. It's off. I put Bluetooth in the little pocket, and carefully zip it shut. Phone goes into a separate pocket. Done. I feel victorious. And evil. And a bit guilty. Kinda like the way I felt when my daughter made friends with a girl I didn't like, and I did whatever I could to keep them apart.

It worked for my daughter. It doesn't work now. A call comes in, and sparks fly.

I check all the settings again. I'm not taking any chances. Bluetooth gets zipped into my pocketbook. I sling my pocketbook over my right shoulder, and Phone goes into my left coat pocket. I don't even feel bad anymore. I smile, smug.

The phone rings. I reach into my pocket, secure in the knowledge that Phone and I now understand each other. I press talk, and say hello. There's no one there. My confidence wavers. I glance at the screen. The call continues, with Bluetooth and Phone united.

That's when I know they are destined to be together.

I use my bluetooth all the time now.

They're meant for each other. And nothing I do will keep them apart.

It is said that ever since Hashem created the world, He has been kept busy making shidduchim. And that making a good match is as hard as Kriyas Yam Suf. Forty days before a child is born a voice is heard: this person is destined for that one. Somehow our bashert, the person destined for us, waits for us.

I've waited for this moment. Who would be special enough? Who would be the one? It seemed like a search for a needle in a haystack would be simpler.

We hit some bumps along the way, but we are not running the world ourselves. The Master of all souls, the Matcher of all matches guided us, wondrously orchestrating this all.

My son is engaged.

She is sweet and warm and smart and beautiful...and perfect for him. Their souls are partners, matching halves of a single whole.

They are meant for each other.

Like Bluetooth and Phone.


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. I'm so happy for you and I'd hardly compare such a tremendous and momentous occasion as 2 neshamos meeting their other half to something as trivial as a bluetooth but it's a cute comparison...May you have lots of nachas from your whole family and continue to enjoy only simchos.

  3. Mazel tov! This is such exciting news. May they always be a source of nachas to you and your husband and may you be celebrating your daughter's engagement very soon too!

  4. Mazal Tov! I like the way you wrote this post, I was expecting it to be another sad one, this ending is much better.

  5. Mazel tov!! That is so exciting!
    It's not at all the way I expected this post to end, but I'm happy for you-I was pleasantly surprised. You put it so nicely.

    Just wondering along the lines of your mashal/comparison of the phone and bluetooth, are you trying to say that your son was in this relationship at one point(like you blogged about more than once before) and they were separated from each other but now you just see and know that they are destined for each other and so they got engaged?!

    Anyway, wishing you loads of hatzlacha with the wedding preps and may the engagement go very smoothly. And may you be zoche to walk all your children down the chuppah with ease!

  6. mazal tov! may everything just go smoothly.

  7. mazal tov! hope you only receive nachas from the 2 of them, and all your children

  8. Mazel tov!
    Continued nachas and simchas from your entire family.
    I look forward to plenty of amusing pre-wedding posts ;D

  9. Mazal Tov! May you, and they, always have this much clarity.

    So exciting!

  10. Mazel Tov! I am so happy for you...and for him :-) May everything else proceed smoothly from here on in.

  11. Beautiful and smartly written post and a very pleasant ending (or should I say beginning?)

    Mazel Tov...

    May the young couple's wedding be b'shah tova u'mitzlachas.

  12. Mazel tov! Love your analogy, and your sentiments are so touching, it can be felt through the screen. I have to admit to being a bit misty eyed. And as a follower of your wholesome blog, it's great to feel like a part of whats important in your life, and go through its tribulations together. Nothing profound to add, but be one on the many who wish your beautiful couple all the happiness and potentail that life and family has to offer. ...binyan adei ad...

  13. I'm a sucker for good endings :-)

    Mazel Tov!

    I love your bluetooth analogy

  14. Thank you everyone!

    I wish all of you this much happiness and this much clarity. It's such a blessing when you just KNOW that this is right.

  15. Hello

    I read some of your posts and you seem a very devoted and loving mother. I'm mother Hannah baby and reading what you told. I think our mother love is too great to let a child so close or yet so far. The distances should be perfect; no much far and no much near for them to be aware and confident when adults.

    I like what you writing here.

    I wish you peace.

  16. Mazal tov!

    I do have a question- you said:

    "Their souls are partners, matching halves of a single whole.

    They are meant for each other."

    I just wonder, how can you know this? I thought in your world (I don't mean that in a derogatory way, I just don't know how else to say it :-) the parents pretty much choose the spouse and there aren't that many dates before the 2 become engaged. How can they know eachother so well that you can be sure they're soulmates?

    Don't get me wrong, I hope they are!!

  17. Anon...

    In my previous posts, I described the way things happen in "my world". The parents do not choose the spouse. We make inquiries. The boy and girl do not meet until we know that it is a match...on paper. Background, goals, personality...all that has to match. Then they date and see if they are compatible. They make the final decision. True, there aren't that many dates. But there are enough dates for them to know.

    To me, the amazing thing is not that THEY know. That doesn't surprise me. They wouldn't be engaged if they weren't so sure. It's more amazing to me that I know. I don't know how to explain it...but I just do. And the more I get to know her, the more I'm sure. They're just so....right for each other.

    Hard to understand, I know. Logically, this system shouldn't work, maybe. But it does!