Monday, January 4, 2010

Would You Do It?

When I was little, I believed that if you look into the mirror at exactly midnight (or was it chatzos?), you'll see the man you're going to some day marry. There may have been more to it. Maybe there was something you had to say...or do... I can't remember. But that is what I -we - believed.

I wanted to look...I really, really did. I wanted to know. But I never actually got up and went to the bathroom mirror at midnight. I didn't really want to know. I was scared. And at the age of 8 or 9, at least during the period of time when this was the topic of the day for the little girls at school, I struggled with it.

As I grew older, I'd often wonder, if I were given the chance to glimpse my life 5 or 10 years hence, would I do it. Would I want to see. Would I want to know. I pondered the question many times over the years, and it was the subject of numerous late night, preteen, deep, philosophical discussions.

My thoughts on the subject still fluctuated as a more mature teenager. Sometimes I felt that if something bad was destined to happen, I would not want to know about it years in advance. I'd want to live my life, each day, without that burden. Other times, I was sure that I would want to be that when the time comes, I'd be able to deal with it in the best possible way.

I haven't thought about this question in years. I'm a grown woman. Life happened. There were so many good things....things that make me smile when I look back at them...things I'm so grateful for.... And so many not so good things.

And I'm glad I was never given the opportunity to see any of it. I'm glad I never had to struggle with that decision.

If I had the chance, today, to get a peek at my life as it will look in 5 years, I'd turn it down. I don't want to see. I want to assume that everything will be perfect, and I will be blissfully happy.

And I want to live my life today as though that were the truth.


  1. I agree with you. I don't want to see. The question is if I would be able to resist the temptation of taking a quick peek into the future. Most people would end up looking, then regretting it. Kinda' like Lot's wife, we'd be wide eyed pillars of salt...

  2. But think about the money that you'd make with the stocks that you could buy if you knew the future!

    Just kidding. Interesting question.

  3. similarly, in the first Harry potter book(if you've read it), harry discovers the mirror of erised, which shows your hearts most inner desire. And as its explained to him, these desires change, but even more than that, you cannot live your life through it. You must live your life, and be the best you can, rather than constantly dream and hope and with. Eventually a time for action will come

  4. Welcome to blogging.

    I'd never want to peer into the future. Let's say you look into the future and see'd spend the next 5 years wondering when you're going to get run over by a truck or something..

  5. Menachem...

    That's exactly it. We don't really WANT to see, but would we be able to resist the temptation?

    JS... my preteen head, the way I understood it was, you'd get to see just a glimpse. Kinda like a snapshot...or a family pic. No stocks. Or lottery.


    Maybe some day I'll get to read those books. Sounds like I'd like them.


    I never even thought of the possiblity of seeing nothing...of not being in the picture. Yikes!

  6. I think looking into a mirror - even if you were going to see amazingly happy things - could backfire - depending on your personality. Someone like me, for example, if seeing good, would wonder when it was going to happen, and am I doing what I'm meant to be doing to deserve it, and will something I do make it change for the worse - lol. Etc. Another person might take comfort and think - ''whew' I can relax now. Let me count the ways I can now go and enjoy life without worry.
    And I think similarly with something strange or bad. You can either enjoy life until the bad thing happens - not worry - might as well enjoy life while it's good. Or
    you can spend the next five years in terror, waiting for the signs..
    I guess that before you look into the mirror at midnight, you need to first look into the mirror to see who you are - and decide if midnight is the right time for you.

  7. Hey welcome to the blogging velt. I never heard of this, what would you call it, segula I guess. Sounds interesting but I would never do it, life needs to be a surprise.

  8. Dini's making a good point. Seeing the future guarantees an attempt to "fix" what you see.

    Reminds me of the plot from "Back To the Future", where Michael J. Fox's character (Marty)knows his father was going to get hit by a car, saves him, and that results in his father never having met his mother, totally screwing up his very existence, when all he wanted to do was help.

    Point is, that our futures are intertwined with an infinite series of resulting events, (the so called "butterfly effect", if you will) which fourtunately we are not privy to. Some things are too complex for the human capacity to absorb, so it's a blessing to just be able to live life with that degree of oblivion, and roll with the punches for better or for worse...

  9. Dini...

    "You need to first look into the mirror to see who you are..."

    I like that.


    Thank you!


    Good point.
    When I read Dini's comment, I also thought of "Back To The Future". But there's no way I'd have remembered all those details.

  10. I loved Back to the Future - years ago it was one of my favorite films - and I too would never have remembered the details- :)
    And yes, it's a good point - wanting to fix things.
    But my point was not only that - it was more about being able to handle it emotionally - to live in the moment even while knowing the future.. that would be hard ...I think.

  11. Very interesting question.
    I don't think that I would want to know what the future holds for me. But, as a mother who worries about her children too much, I would like some... reassurance. Just a little word from Above saying "Don't worry, Raizy, your kids will be just fine". You know, just enough to let me know that I can stop worrying and relax.

  12. I wouldn't want to know what will happen in the future. Though there's always the fear of the unknown, and if I were to know what will happen, then I wouldn't have that fear. But there's still the matter of having bechira to choose how your life will end up. So that if you "know" what will happen, then I feel as though you don't have a choice to change anything, and then it can feel like your stuck.

  13. I wouldn't want to see my future unless I was able to change it, sort of like this is your future if you continue to live your life in the same way.

  14. The segula was if you wake up at midnight you will see the kallah that your future husband will marry...